TheTeacherGuy.com

Before I get too deep into today’s topic, I want it to be made very clear that this post is supposed to be fun. But, as a teacher some days it feels like you are playing a competitive game of patience vs. wits and it’s anywhere from 15 on 1 to 30 on 1 at any given time. As if that wasn’t enough, while you are facing wave after wave of teams trying to wear down your patience that seem to be refreshed every hour or so, you are forced to keep tabs on your own stamina. Some of these things that I have to say are funny, surprising or just plain weird. So if you are ready to just jump on in, let’s get to it.

1. Why are you up again?

This is by far the thing that I have to say most to my students. Everyone will be working diligently while I am at my desk trying to grade papers or help another student when I feel it. It’s like someone is lurking over me watching my every move. I look up to see what could possibly be going on when I see it. There is 12 year old kid hovering just a little bit too close to my personal space. And that is when I ask, “why are you up again?” Because it is always the same one or two kiddos that seem to have the biggest problems with staying in their seat to do their work. Over summer vacation, I think I am going to invest in some standing desks.

2. But, you just came back from the bathroom.

This is one that really bothers me more than it should. And it’s not because I am a teacher that says you should only need to go to the bathroom during passing periods. It is because when I was only a parent and not a teacher yet, I always got furious when I asked my daughter how her day went and she would tell me that one of her teachers never let her go to the bathroom. But now, seeing things from the other side of the academic table I realize that these kids are over the top with wanting to go to the bathroom. My class periods are only 52 minutes long. And some of these kids’ time management skills leave something to be desired. They will go get a drink of water 10 minutes into class, and within 5 minutes are asking to go to the bathroom. Seriously, why couldn’t you have done them both at the same time?

3. Do I have to send you to the office so you can explain to them why you feel the need to touch your classmates.

Let me start this one off with saying that my girls aren’t the ones I am having to say this to 99% of the time. It is just the boys. For some reason they have it in their head that they have to constantly be making physical contact of some kind with one another. Sometimes it’s just an innocent arm around the shoulder or dapping each other up. But sometimes they are literally wanting to wrestle or sit on each others laps. Like guys, I really don’t care what y’all do, but if I have to break up the the boyfriends and girlfriends, then I feel as though I have to be fair across the board.

4. No, I will not google (insert any meme here)

I don’t understand why these kids think that I am going to google anything that comes into their head, or is soaring in popularity, but it seems like every week they want me to google something that I know is a meme. Most of the time it is a fairly innocent meme, but that is not what we are here for and I really don’t need IT to wonder what it is that I am showing these kids.

5. You are not stupid!

I do not know who it is that puts this idea in these kids that they are stupid. And this is one that I wish I didn’t have to say on a weekly basis, but here we are. Certain students really get it into their heads that if they don’t understand a concept within 3 milliseconds, automatically that makes them stupid. I know that I am still new to this whole teaching thing, but I have yet to have a child walk through my classroom that is inherently stupid. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and that’s okay. If we were all experts at everything life would get real boring real fast.

6. Guys, we don’t body shame in my classroom

This is another one that I really don’t understand. For some reason I have a bunch of kids in one of my classes that are obviously best friends, but they love throwing around insults in a joking manner. I constantly have to remind them that we are not here to body shame each other. We are here to learn about post Civil War American History. There is no place in my classroom for this regardless of if you are joking or not.

7. Yes, there’s a quiz today, I’ve been telling you all week

One thing about how I lesson plan is that I make sure that I keep it predictable as possible. That means that every Thursday we review everything that we have learned so far that week so that on Friday my students are prepared to do their best on their quiz. That means you know coming into my classroom on Fridays exactly what to expect. Why is it that we are half way through the school year and I am still catching you off guard?

8. Why are you shoes off?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that my kids feel absolutely safe and comfortable in my classroom. I feel as though that is how it should be. But when our comfort level gets to the point that you are taking shoes off in the middle of class and it is causing a disruption then it becomes a problem. I love my kids and I want them to feel as though my classroom is their second home, but my classroom is still a place of learning before anything else.

9. The bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do.

I know that I may sound a little old school with this one but for me it is part of my process for setting a tone, and giving the kids an opportunity to show respect. It is not just respect for me but for their classmates as well. If I let everyone bolt out of my classroom as soon as the bell rings, kids can get run over. I know that sounds a little extreme, but I have seen it. I started to get more comfortable with my kids and was dismissing them right when the bell rings for a couple of days. Well, one thing lead to another, and I had one kid wedged into the door jam and another one was literally crawled over by another student. I don’t know why making them get in their seats and waiting ten seconds makes such a big difference, but it does.

10. I just gave you a pencil, how did you lose it already?

Broken pencils, erasers bitten off, and pencils just straight up lost. That was my first couple of weeks as a teacher summed up in one sentence. The big problem I had created was that I bought baskets to let the pencils hang out in where all of the kids could grab one when they need it. Well, although that plan had the best of intentions, sometimes intrusive thoughts win out even with the best of us. Now my kids have to sign pencils out if they want to get one from me. I know it sounds a little extreme, but I went from going through two boxes of pencils in a week to now working on the same box of pencils for the whole month of December, and no more broken pencils laying all over the ground.

Sometimes it can feel as though we are repeating ourselves all day long. But that is what we do for the ones we care about. Does it get old sometimes saying the same things over and over? Of course. But it is part of helping develop these people that just got their brains not so long ago, so that when they are unleashed on the world they can do great things. As always, if you have any questions comments or concerns, please don’t hesitate to let me know.